There are days that no matter how successful you are according to the "society's standards", you feel in your heart that you will never belong, that you in fact have never belonged. It is a strange feeling of being in a loud crowd yet feeling a deep silence in your heart. It is not about it being bad or good. It is just the reality that an immigrant may want to forget at times. It is the reality of immigration. At least for me. I used to criticize the immigrants who socialize within their own communities. Now when I go to schools to see the children for my job, I see that immigrant kids hang out together, Asian, Indian, Afghan all together. You can see them sitting in the hallways of high schools or smoking outside the school. I asked my cousin about her experience in high school. She said she could only fit in with immigrant kids because they were weird just like her.

I am happy I chose to be an immigrant in Canada. Not belonging here is less painful than not belonging in one's own country.